How many consecutive years have you watched ballerinas prance to Tchaikovsky's "The Sugar Plum Fairy" in "The Nutcracker" and actors wobble across the stage as Blitzen, Prancer and a bunch of other reindeer in Rudolph? If you're anything like us, you've been seeing these holiday snoozers for more years than you'd prefer to mention. It's time for a new holiday classic—or perhaps a smarter adaptation of these same old stories. We put together a collection of offbeat holiday plays that'll keep the napping drool off your face—completely.
The Nutcracker at Steppenwolf Theatre
If there's one theatre that's going to put our Windy City scene on the national map, it's Dennis Watkins's magical House Theatre. Their previous show, "The Magnificients," wowed us with impressive sets and strong acting, taking us back in time to the pre-internet days, when there was actually real magic. With The Nutcracker, they're bound to hit similar chords. Adapted by Philip Klapperich, who has a knack for taking on sugary kids' stories (he sent us back to childhood with shows like "Peter Pan" and "The Wizard of Oz"), we think this re-telling of toys gone wild on Christmas Eve will work that same magic. Little Clara is a girl on the brink of psychosis, convinced that the rats are asking her to "join them." This freaky, adult-ified version reminds us that our favorite holiday play is actually quite dark.
Rudolph the Red Hosed Reindeer at Bailiwick Arts Center
There's no two ways about it: Rudolph is a different kinda reindeer. Not only is his nose bright red, but in David Cerda's parody performed by Hell in a Handbag Productions, he's a North Pole misfit. With his group of outcast friends, like Herbie the "not gay enough" elf, who longs to be a dentist and not just another cog in Santa's factory wheel, and Yukon Corneila, a butch lesbo character with a deep-seated secret. Together, the three outsiders search for their place in the frosty world, while trying to escape the scariest creature of them all: The Abominable Drag Beast. This year marks the show's tenth birthday.
photo: courtesy of Annoyance
Forget Rudolph, Santa and Uncle Drosselmeyer, and get ready for Christmas with everyone's favorite band: Aerosmith! As Christmas approaches, North Polers are getting ready to deliver presents and start the festivities. But then disaster strikes: The only evil, Christmas-hating person in town—Aerosmith's drummer, Joey Kramer—attempts to steal the joyful Christmas spirit. The dotty Christmas Wizard and his assistants are the only ones who can save the holiday, but before they do, they encounter some strange characters. Move over, Grinch! Joey Kramer is the new villain in town.
7 SANTAS at Bailiwick Arts Center
We're talking scandal here, and it's not about policemen and their missing wives; it's about Santa and his drunken tendencies. In Director Jeff Goode's play, trustworthy Santa finds himself in rehab after receiving a minor traffic violation. But things get worse. Soon, the jolly, present-giving man is in a detox program. Will his real story come out? Does the hero to millions of children have a serious drinking problem? And what's more, does Mrs. Claus, who is estranged from Santa, run this mysterious detox program? It's drama and then some at the North Pole, and the fate of Christmas teeters on the edge of extinction.
The Nutcracker on Horseback at Noble Horse Theatre
We all know the story, but chances are we haven't seen it go down on horseback. The entire show happens in an equestrian rink. Impossible you say? The Noble Horse Theatre performs all their shows on horseback, and this one is no exception. Join the adorable Clara, the evil Mouse King and the bouncy ball that is the Sugar Plum Fairy against the classic Tchaikovsky soundtrack in this unusual rendition of the classic holiday story. White stallions and other horses prance around with all these characters flopping on their backs.
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