Nothing brings back the antiseptic smell of school hallways, the waft of fresh pencil shavings, or the fear of pop quizzes like a Styrofoam cup of fruit cocktail on a melamine tray. Ah, lunchtime, a student's only respite from confusing tests and science labs. We look back on it fondly as a time to kick it with our clique and rejuvenate for an afternoon of uninspired lectures. With fall on the way and local students heading back to school, we've scoured the city for some cafeteria-style eats, so we can get in touch with our inner scholars without having to endure the pain of pencils, books and teacher's dirty looks.
Manny's Coffee Shop & Deli
You won't find a lunch lady with a wicked snarl holding an ice cream scoop of chipped beef at Manny's, but you will find Gino. Standing sentry over the meat slicer with his white butcher's apron and paper boat hat, the legendary counterman and chief purveyor of corned beef, pastrami and potato pancakes always flashes a wicked grin under his salt-and-pepper mustache. It's as if he's challenging you to order. When you do, he'll be sure to sling a wry insult or ironic pearl along with your sammie, as well as a glinting wink to let you know he's kidding. While it's a dance that never gets old, man cannot live on corned beef alone. Thankfully there's an entire arsenal of jiggly Jell-O, melt-in-your-mouth short ribs, sugary pies and tangles of spaghetti for your noshing pleasure.
Foodlife Market
While the Water Tower mall food court seems like an endless cafeteria, the Foodlife Market is one stop that allows you fill up your tray with foods that'll keep your heart ticking and your arteries clean. While the store sports a full deli case of prepared foods, glistening fruit and a soup bar, it's the salad bar, maybe the best one this side of R.J. Grunts, that you want. It features an array of roasted meats, multiple lettuces, a farm's worth of fresh vegetables and numerous dressings (including one of the creamiest, herbiest Green Goddesses around); you'll be able chow down and continue to shop, without feeling the need to drop. A far cry from that French fries- and milkshake-induced coma you'd slip into mid-Geography class in seventh grade.
Bobak's Sausage Company
Everyone knows there's no better end to a late-night college cram session than a post-exam, cholesterol-laden breakfast or lunch. And Bobak's, a combination grocery store and charcuterie with a massive cartoon pig as its mascot, fits the bill. The in-house buffet stocks swiney delights like home-cured kielbasa, smoky sausages with tangy sauerkraut, fat pork chops and pork roast; tender prime rib, smoky roast chicken and lean corn beef round out the meat selection. Carb lovers will find piles of sugary apple and crispy potato pancakes, as well as sweet cheese pierogis. Fruit-filled blintzes make for a great finish; if your sweet tooth isn't satisfied, you can grab a dozen pazcki from the bakery to go.
Tapsilog at Iba Pa
Many school cafeterias attempt to pull off a weekly "ethnic food" day, usually consisting of soggy egg rolls or greasy tacos. But if you want to nosh on a worthy international feast, check out this Rogers Park storefront decked out with a mix of maplewood and plastic chairs, Formica tables and a wall-mounted covey of bejeweled geese sculptures. It cooks up its namesake dish, tapsilog, which features dried or cured beef (tapa), a mound of rice (sinangag) and fried egg (itlog). There's also a rousing cafeteria-style buffet stocked with garlicky pork in adobo studded with black peppercorns, crispy pork egg rolls and milkfish, as well as a handful of desserts like sweet eggy custards.
Bartlett Dining Hall
While we won't be able to promise a rousing kegger afterward, you can at least relive the culinary portion of your old college days at Bartlett, which is open to the general public. Located in a converted gymnasium, which sports a gothic façade that suggests droning professors rather than crispy baguette sandwiches and jalapeno cheese corn muffins, it's the U of C's premier dining hall. With 11 stations, including a deli, diner-style grub, global cuisine, pasta, Asian eats and even a spot dedicated to vegetarian foods, it has options for anyone. Don't say we didn't warn you. After one taste of this scholastic smorgasbord, you may find yourself throwing on pajamas, digging out the old Birkenstocks and trudging your way out to the dining hall on a regular basis.
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