My boyfriend has a lot of ex-girlfriends. Everyone has exes, but everywhere we go, there is always an ex, and I end up feeling uncomfortable. What can I do?
It's one thing to know about your boyfriend’s past, it's another to be confronted with it every time you leave the house.
Most likely you run into his exes so frequently because he hasn't really branched out very far from his old haunts. Sometimes it's hard for people to leave their comfort zones. The result: even if you live in a big city you may feel like it's a very, very small world. The other reason, of course, is what you mentioned – he just has a lot of exes. However, that doesn't mean that you need to be faced with meeting them on a constant basis.
I suggest that you explore some new places to go out. I’m sure there are many other restaurants or clubs that you’ve never been to. If he is resistant, then make the plans yourself. It will be healthy for both of you not to dwell on his past, and you might discover some new favorite hangouts in the process.
Most importantly, identify what it is that makes you feel uncomfortable about these run-ins. Is it how he acts when he's around his exes? Are you concerned that the number of exes signifies a problem with commitment, and soon you will be another ex on the loose? Talk to your boyfriend about it. Chances are he would want to spare you any discomfort.
Yours,
econfidant.com
Have a question about your one-true-love or latest fling that you just can't share with your friends? Rachel Begelman and Sarna Lee founded econfidant.com to give you the smart, one-on-one advice you need. You can ask that single pressing question or sign up to ask unlimited questions. Read more about econfidant.
Have a question for econfidant.com? Ask it here...they'll answer one question from a Centerstage reader each week.