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She Cheated On Her Last Boyfriend
Monday Jul 31, 2006.
By econfidant
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A girl I've gone out with a couple of times told me she cheated on her last boyfriend. She said she felt awful and would never ever do it again, but I've always heard "once a cheater, always a cheater." I'd like to date her more, but how can I trust she won't cheat on me?
I can understand your concern—it can be a challenge to build trust at the beginning of any relationship, but it's even harder when you know that this girl has broken someone's trust in the past. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions about her ability to be faithful. You mention you've only gone out with her a couple of times. I suggest that you continue to spend time with her before you fully assess her character. We have all made many mistakes in past relationships, and though our experiences shape us they do not condemn us to a future of infidelity. She has been open and honest enough to fill you in on her past mistakes: This is a great start to building a strong foundation. If you think it would make you feel a little better, ask her for a few more details about her infidelity. There are no "excuses" for cheating, and it sounds like she knows that and is remorseful, but she probably had reasons. It may put your mind at ease if you understand the circumstances that led to her actions. If you are always looking for signs of her cheating or you don't trust her, it will be very difficult to build—let alone maintain—a healthy relationship. Give her the time and a chance to show you that she is different than she was in her last relationship. Let her earn your trust.
Best wishes, Have a question about your one-true-love or latest fling that you just can't share with your friends? Rachel Begelman and Sarna Lee founded econfidant.com to give you the smart, one-on-one advice you need. You can ask that single pressing question or sign up to ask unlimited questions. Read more about econfidant. Have a question for econfidant.com? Ask it here...they'll answer one question from a Centerstage reader each week.
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