Centerstage - Chicago's Original City Guide

Q: I'm one of those rare breed of girls who doesn't shave her legs or armpits—blame sensitive skin, hippie parents or plain ol' laziness, but either way, I'm totally comfortable with my body hair. I just started dating this guy and wanted to know the right time to bring it up or if I should bother "confessing" at all. It's been known to weird guys out in the past but I also don't just want to blurt it out for no reason.

Sincerely,
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

A: Dear HTGT,
Like padded bras or fibbing on resumes, we all conceal certain parts of ourselves that we think are unflattering or unconventional. It's not false advertising so much as coping with perfectionism being rammed down our throats 24/7. We live in a society of impossible ideals, which makes us ashamed of the parts of ourselves that don't fit those ideals. I'm sure your guy has unusual traits or habits as well. Maybe he has every Golden Girls episode on DVD or visits trekpassions.com regularly. Feel out the waters—if he's a dud then don't waste your breath. If it seems like it's actually going somewhere, then tell him. If he's everything you think he is, he'll accept it and move on. I agree that flashing your armpit coif over a cup of fro-yo might not be the best way to tell him, but it's not like you're hiding a full-body tattoo rendering of Eddie Murphy or anything. Keep it casual and light, compare leg hair length, give your pits cute Chia pet names, then introduce them to him. If you don't take yourself too seriously, then neither will he, and you can move on to the bigger issues.

Q: I hope that you reply to this because my friend and I could use some help! We're from this little hick county called Cumberland and gays/bi's are either nonexistent in the closet or in the closet until shit faced. This poses a problem for those of use who are open and would really like to be open with others. We're single and would like to either meet a partner or just go somewhere, where it's ok to take home a chick and not be shunned or make a scene about it which is impossible around here. So I was wondering if you would have some suggestions as to a club we could go to hang out and be ourselves. The major problem is we are under 21. So if you knew of some clubs in the Chicago, St. Louis or Indiana that are geared toward teen gays, that would be great. Looking forward to a response and thanks for your time.

Sincerely,
Nicole

A: Dear Nicole,
It's not easy falling into the over 18 but not quite 21 age bracket, regardless of sexual orientation. Sure you can get blown up in Iraq but god forbid you have a Miller High Life. Even harder is being young and queer when bar culture is still one of the main ways of meeting other chicks who like chicks. Unless you walk around wearing an "I eat pussy" t-shirt (www.choiceshirts.com), it's easy to feel like you're the only queer around. I don't know where Cumberland is, but it sounds like a yarn brand, so I'm sure it's no queer Mecca. And according to census information, there were no gay/lesbian households reported. What should you do? Get the hell out of there. Plenty of queer girls in any of the three cities you mentioned. Howard Brown in Chicago has some rockin' youth services where folks can drop in, hang out, etc. If you can't leave, then start something yourself. Necessity is the mother of invention, said…someone. Go online, type in what you're looking for on one of the many websites that exist for people to meet people—MySpace, Friendster, Craigslist, etc. Type in your criteria and your zip code and voila, people will materialize that match your specifications. Want to start a bi-monthly beer pong tournament? A Scrabble-thon? With the internet, the world is at your disposal, even if it's just reaching out to people, making connections and garnering support. Another great resource is www.dykediva.com (also Chicago), which has an event calendar with under-21 activities. A quick look at its site yielded open-mic nights, plays and free yoga classes, among other things.