Leave your ratty tennis shoes and hipster jeans behind if you want a prayer at gaining entrance to Cuvee, the chic River North
club brought to you by the same owners as Enclave
Like Enclave, where sightings of the Kardashian girls and Vince Vaughn are commonplace, Cuvee targets celebrities, pro athletes and normal folks who dress really well. The bouncers outside the club's back alley entrance are huge dudes with a serious sense of fashion. If you want to impress them, and if you want the long-legged girls in glittery dresses inside to pretend to love you, dress to impress. Or, making table reservations through Cuvee's website won't hurt your chances.
Once inside, free your credit card from captivity, order a bottle of champagne or sparkling wine from one of the prancing vixens, and grab a leather couch on the island in the middle of the club, which resembles an old wood-floored warehouse. Gaze up at the round ceiling mirrors to make sure your black tie is tucked just right, and make your move.
A drum and bass maestro plays in the middle of the island, a DJ spins in the corner, the bouncers wear the earpieces and brawn of secret servicemen, and Joanna the Croatian bartender won't reveal whether the lit-up montage behind her is of two creamy ice cream scoops or something more sultry.
This is an expensive place: cocktails cost $12 and up, beers run $5 or $6, and cover charges vary. Indeed, the sign on the door as you exit Cuvee reminds you not to forget your credit cards and IDs ... as if those details matter to the Boston Celtics and other pro hoops players visiting Chicago.
Centerstage Reviewer: Jacob Wheeler